WE’VE already established that a million monkeys randomly tapping away on a million typewriters for a zillion years are unlikely to produce the complete works of Shakespeare or anything like it – but what would these strangely conscientious literary simians actually come up with?
You can get a peak at the first fruits of the initial 20 years of this ongoing, open-ended social experiment courtesy of Alphainventions, a blog aggregator which allows viewers to see a seemingly endless cycle of frontpages from the far reaches of the mechanical webnets.
Like some gargantuan two-dimensional online tower of Babel almost entirely populated by psychotic apes on drugs jabbering at each other without even realising they’re not talking the same language, Alphainventions might seem a little wacked out to the casual observer. And also the not-so-casual observer.
You’ll find any number of tedious religious zealots trying to impose their rather narrow worldview on the rest of the humanity via banal and poorly punctuated prose that nobody ever reads.
You’ll meet gun fetishists, entomologists, someone called Elvis Jedi and a man whose life’s work is to explain that very few things are actually worse than Hitler.
You will also be introduced to the Somali ex-pat community in Switzerland, people with ME, hot babes and Wild Dervishes. You’ll read about one woman’s journey from high-powered computer geek to Buenos Aires tango teacher. You may even meet the odd kindly soul who just likes making really nice soup.
You’ll get clued up on renewable energy on the Mendocino Coast and the views of Imam Bukhari on the kissing of hands and feet, you’ll learn about the Fuel Cell Market Report, how to restore wolves to the Rocky mountains and vegans of color (“because we don’t have the luxury of being single-issue”).
And if you have time after perusing the marvels of the Hijda Eunuch blog and Frank H Jump’s photo blog about fading advertising hoardings, you could try some Three-Minute Bible Study. Or you could fight the good fight with Combat Queer instead. Or maybe just kick back with some sad Urdu poetry.
I don’t know how the site works but I don’t know how Google works. Or cars or planes. Some kind of mechanical ju-ju, no doubt. Either way, Alphainventions is, not to put too fine a point on it, fucking nuts .. and I think I like it.
David Peace’s writing is also fucking nuts and I definitely like it.
I’m getting very, very excited about Red Riding: The Trilogy, which is adapted from his fantastic Red Riding Quartet and stars a virtual who’s who of British acting talent in the shape of Paddy Considine, David Morrissey, Maxine Peake, Warren Clarke, Andrew Garfield, Rebecca Hall, Mark Addy, Sean Harris, Gerard Kearns, Daniel Mays, and a few more people I can’t remember right now.