ANY group that has a song with the chorus “Aaaaargh! Aaargh! Aaaaaargh!” must be pretty good. Bristol cider punks Disorder were precisely one such band. Plus, they are named after the fantastic Joy Division track. Me, Doug and John went to see them, Antisect and Amebix at one of Nick Toczek’s excellent and cheap (£2/£1.50) gigs at the Bierkeller in Leeds in December 1983.
As the intro to the original interview in my zine put it:
Lots of people were drunk so it might not make all that much sense in places. For realism, add lots of stupid laughing in between each question.
Do you get pestered by groupies a lot?
Boobs: “Taf does, yeah, especially when he wears his nurse’s outfit”.
Taf: “Erm, no comment”.
What’s your favourite kind of cider?
Taf: “Richards of Combsbury. It’s about £1.80 a gallon”.
Boobs: “They chuck leather in the barrel to ferment it. It kills off the acid”.
Taf: “Can’t get it up north”.
What’s the drunkest you’ve ever been?
Taf: “I think it was when I was 14 and on a rugby trip to France. I got so drunk the teachers had to keep me in for two days and wouldn’t let me out”.
Boobs: “And when we went to Italy the first time”.
Why don’t you write songs about cider?
Boobs: “We leave that to Chaos UK”.
Do you like God?
Boobs: “Who? No! There is no god!”
Taf: “I’ve never met him … actually, a mate of mine knows him”.
What are your lyrics about?
Boobs: “Erm, dunno. We’ve got one about erm … erm parents, I suppose, and how they force their opinions on you and that. And one about animals and the waste of grain and all that crap”.
Taf: “Yeah, you get like 10 percent less goodness”.
Well, if you think about things like that, why do you give the impression of playing mindless punk?
Taf: “Cos we are mindless punks”.
Boobs: “People can think what they fucking want”.
Taf: “We don’t want nice music”.
Boobs: “I mean, what is nice music? Should we sort of bring sleeping bags to the gig, and dress up in black and have girlfriends with hair fucking eight foot-tall, and go, yes, well?”
Do you like Top of the Pops?
Taf: “Yeah, I really liked Dolly Parton the other week, with that bloke, Kenny Rodgers.”
Would you go on it?
Taf: “Yeah! What? Oh no. No. Yeah, I would. I’d go on on my own, like Captain Sensible, and do ‘I am a Cider Drinker’”.
What’s the biggest threat to western civilisation today?
Taf: “Straight edge. No sex, no drink, no smacko, no fun”.
What’s your favourite joke?
Boobs: “Vice Squad”.
Taf: “Margaret Thatcher. Boobs’ prick”.
Are you all anarchists? Are any of you anarchists?
Taf: “I am! No, really, I am. It’s just doing what you want and having a laugh. And beating up mods! No, not really”.
Who are your favourite groups?
Boobs: “Slade, Crass …”
Taf: “Brahms, Tchaikovsky …”
Boobs: “Rudimentary Peni”.
Some of your lyrics are sort of anti-war but why don’t you write about things like racism and sexism?
Taf: “I wrote a thing about sexism but he won’t sing any of my lyrics. Boobs, have you got any more money?”
Just a minute. You’re anti-war but are you anti-violence full stop?”
Boobs: “Yeah, cos we are”.
Taf: “We’re anti-violence but if someone comes up to me and says, I’m gonna hit you in the face, I’m not just going to take it, am I?”
Boobs: “You may as well go down fighting. Like the Clash said, How you gonna come? With your hands on your head or on the trigger of your gun?’”.
Taf: “You know, whatever happens, don’t have fights. But if someone comes after me …”
* * *
Boobs, despite being clearly a bit offended by my rather abrupt (and shit) questions during the interview, eventually sent me a load of handouts through the post, including this, which he may or may not have written specifically for the zine:
“The name DISORDER is sometimes, I think, not a good choice of name, because when such a name is mentioned, a lot of people – narrow-minded people, I may say – have instant visions of chaos, destruction, and people retarding themselves to the age-old easy cop out of ‘DESTROY’.
“This in itself is showing ignorance. The word itself implies simply a lack of order. You may now say that order is the thing that keeps things running. This is not so. Order is something that is forced upon us – not our own etiquette of order but a premeditated order of someone else’s design. This then, if not followed strictly, is forced then by something called Law, hence law and order.
“People found to be deviating from this so-called law are then a potential threat to the order in which society is run, and are instantly labelled with degrading labels, such as DRUNKARD, JUNKIE, COMMIE and PUNKS etc.
“These are the people who are trying to set up laws of their own and subvert, and make their own standards without the help of an officer of the LAW beating into what is right and wrong.
“We ourselves, I think, have for too long been unjustly labelled as another thrash band that sing about football violence. With this new line up, we hope to make people understand that we have got something to say, and can contribute to the downfall of the system, but also to show that anarchy can be fun, as long as you respect the rights of every other person – even if they are, for want of a better non-sexist insult, a cunt.”
[The interview was first published in the Son of the Primitive Patriot in January 1984, and Boobs’ piece in the Primitive Patriot Rides Again in April of the same year]